Who Are We When our Girls have their Limelight

By Olivia Priddis

Who Are We When – this column brings readers forward into the world of sociology, or to be more precise, how sociology plays in our world. It is something we all contribute to, but not many truely understand. But knowing who we are and why can make us look inward, and question the type of people we all want to be.


When Chappell Roan’s now iconic song Good Luck Babe went viral over TikTok, her drag inspired costumes and unapologetic display of her lesbian sexuality sent her to the forefront of everyone’s minds. From first hearing her sing, I adored her immediately; a queer singer who goes out of her way to highlight queer culture and history brought forward a unquie, campy element that was a refreshing new take in the pop world. But at the same time, I could not help the sinking feeling that the cycle of online appreciation to hatred would catch up. Sure enough, Chappell’s recent statement regarding her social boundaries when meeting fans in public sent forward a rash of online hate, mostly centered around her “ungratefulness” and “hysteria”. This quickly escalated to the prominent opinion on X that the singer, who was unanimously agreed to be a one in a generation talent, was now, according to serial online accounts, to be “untalented” and “an industry plant”.

Though I saw it coming, it still brought the disappointing reminder of what happens when parasocialism is so directly challenged. Though it is relatively easy to know more about our favourite stars than ever before, parasocial relationships remain a concerning issue in terms of both safety and social well-beings across all areas of the projected relationship. While a commonly used buzzword in online “Stan Wars”, what are parasocial relationships and what does it make of us?

While the concept of Parasocial relationships may seem like a 21st century development, the 1950s saw the University of Chiago’s Sociology Department coining the phrase in the now famous essay by Donald Horton and Richard Wohl. Horton and Wohl defined the behaviour as “An intimate reciprocal social interaction, despite knowing that it is only an illusion.” This was further separated into two distinct categories by complement theoretical concepts; Parasocial Interactions and Parasocial Relationships. While the original essay concluded that parasocial interaction refers to an imagined sense of mutual connection during physical viewing, the expansion of social media has developed this concept further. While the two concepts are not to be conflated, they work simultaneously, and their behavioural results become evident.

I will not say that I am above parasocial relationships or have never experienced the theoretical behaviour, because the fact is, sometimes it can be inevitable. If we can curate our social media pages to surround individual/s or the media they are associated with, it becomes our digital world. Which is why to some, its easy to assume such a sense of closeness, while translated to the real world, but it is when our fourth wall is broken, what do we do then?

Even before the Chappell Roan controversy, I was aware of the lack of grace, respect and in many cases, dignity, afforded to female public figures. Though I was still in primary school during the Gillard Federal Government, I was not lost to the casual misogyny used in her criticism. Questioning her abilities for not being a mother at the time, to flat out criticism because of the way she looked; for many young girls in Australia, it was a brutal lesson; that you will get the abuse, but don’t you dare be “hysterical about it”. While the world of politics certainly doesn’t hold the same parasocial weight as celebrity culture, for many, it’s a stepping stone to the worse things to come.

In the days following Chappell’s statement, I made an effort to record different responses across several social media platforms, and the demographic features of the profile. While it didn’t surprise me that several of her criticisers where cishet men, the amount of cishet women and gay men not only criticising, but out right mocking her drew my attention. Much of this mocking centred around her apparent “ungratefulness” and comparing her to other female pop stars. But what truly shocked me was the very long ranting “ungratefulness” posts from Brittney Spears and Taylor Swift fan pages. No one will soon forget the Free Brittney movement and all the horrors that were revealed when she was under conservatorship, and Taylor Swift has delt with a number of stalkers, and casual misogyny over her career.

The main question this had for me was; “your fav has gone through similar stuff, why is this such a big issue for you?”. But at some point, I realised; Chappell broke that fourth wall. While the early 2000s was a different time for fans and stars relationships, and I’ve read many debates regarding the parasocial nature of “Swifties”, there was never such an extreme breaking of that fourth wall. Chappell spoke, she gave the brutal honest truth, she took back her own limelight into her own terms. Chappell as a queer woman, who’s a largely new social sensation, managed to break the mouldings of her own stan culture before it could form. I won’t argue that Taylor Swift or any other pop star actively contributes to their own stan culture, because frankly we could never know. But one cannot deny the damage stan culture can do to an individual’s own behaviour, and what damage  it can do when called out for what it is.

Christina Grimmie was a rising singer with stardom potential when she was murdered by an “infatuated” fan in 2016, being cruelly shot to death after a concert. Selena Quintanilla Pérez, known as “Queen of Tejano Music” and one of the most famous American-Mexican singers of the late 20th century, was killed by the president of her fan club. Two horrific fates that are among many of the horror stories famous women across time could tell. The lessons have always been there, but why are we so hostile to learning them?

What is an actual true coincidence, but also an important sociological moment, was the similar time frame of Chappell’s rise to the public’s forefront and the release of Gypsy Rose Blanchard. The harrowing story of Gypsy Rose Blanchard’s murdering of her mother after a childhood of severe abuse prompted by Munchhausen-by-proxy will likely never truly leave the public’s mind. However, soon after her release, there grew a concerning trend as she became more and more active on social media. The trend largely involved the victim blaming of Blanchard, diminishing the abuse she suffered and believing that she could’ve just called for help.

Now what connects these two very different situations of Blanchard and Chappell is one of the key foundations of parasocial behaviours and relationships, one that can develop in many circumstances; they aren’t the perfect victim, they are able to tell their own story. The Perfect Victim mentality can take many forms, but ultimately characterises victims in ways that prevents them from taking agency in their own experiences, so others can fill that void through often self-serving motivations. The crime both women committed was that they sought back control over their own narratives. They didn’t let strangers emotionally profit off their stories through the projection of their own morality. Its easy to say that you would’ve been “one of the good ones” online, when the subject isn’t able to directly contradict or re-frame that mindset.

The victimisation of famous women to villainization when they dare speak out is an unfortunately common aspect within parasocial dynamics, and one that will likely continue to transcend between industries and circumstances. Chappell Roan’s courage to speak out, despite knowing the consequences, has brought to light just how toxic and dangerous we are when we are parasocial. So, we are left with, who are we when our girls get their limelight; well we must be better than we are now.


My name is Olivia Priddis (She/They) and I am Communications Journalism and Justice Student. I have always been interested in the world around me and how different parts of our culture can affect a persons behaviour. My love for sociology and philosophy has been highly rewarded in my degree and brought me the passion to explore more.

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